


Reminiscent

by babycore



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Brotherly Affection, Canon Compliant, F/F, Future Foundation (Dangan Ronpa), Happy Ending, Implied Relationships, Jabberwock Island (Dangan Ronpa), Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:40:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23512519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babycore/pseuds/babycore
Summary: Mikan asks Makoto if he thinks Junko really did love her.
Relationships: Enoshima Junko/Tsumiki Mikan, Naegi Makoto & Tsumiki Mikan
Comments: 1
Kudos: 39





	Reminiscent

**Author's Note:**

> this whole fic plus this note section contains spoilers so beware! (only for dr1 and sdr2, not v3)
> 
> note that this takes places post-killing game. dr3 (anime) is irrelevant/non-canon in this fic. everyone lives on the island still which is explained in the fic. this fic also assumes that everyone wakes up from their coma. not important but despair girls is also canon in this fic. that's all, enjoy!
> 
> also not proof read so sorry if there's mistakes lol

It was hard. Something about this, about everything, was so very hard.

Mikan loved her friends, and loved her girlfriend (despite said girlfriend being very problematic and also very dead), and loved the peacefulness of the island, and loved how often she really got the chance to relax. Really, she felt very priviledged to have this opportunity of a lifetime, something everybody wanted; a very, very long vacation. No financial or unwanted commitments, no stress, no fear of dying. After all she had been through, and after all her friends had been through, she felt like this had to be deserved. It was needed. Good for mental health, right?

Except she didn't actually feel like it was deserved...?

No, no, correction. Her friends absolutely deserved this. The survivors had gone through so much, and she still felt horrible and guilty for killing Ibuki and Hiyoko (although she still couldn't quite forgive the tiny dancer for the torment, they had managed to begin to co-exist; Hiyoko claimed she was sorry, at least) even though she definitely wasn't in her right mind. Both girls insisted, eventually at least, that there were no hard feelings. They understood. The whole situation had been so terrifying...

And naturally, the island should have only triggered her, and maybe at first it did. The sense of discomfort and uneasiness around the island, the flashbacks of her friends' deaths whenever she was in an area someone had been killed in, the panic when she couldn't find someone that lasted for hours after the person had been found.

"I was so scared...!" she'd say.

"I know..." they'd say.

"I thought someone...!" she'd say.

Killed you, she wouldn't say.

"I know," they'd say.

However, after a while, the fear began to subside. Everyone was... actually pretty happy! The island was nice, and everyone was free to come and go as they pleased, though nobody really wanted to go. According to Makoto, the real world was still in ruins. Nobody wanted to see that. Nobody wanted to see what they had contributed to. On the island, at least they really could pretend they were on a nice school trip. Usami had been reinstalled to the VR, and it was like she was never gone in the first place. And Chiaki...

Well, if Chiaki had just been an AI, they'd be happy to have her back. But considering the AI they knew was based off of a real friend of their's that had died in the real world... nobody could really come to a consensus about what to do about it. Some people felt kind of weird about having an AI of a real person on the island, and felt like it was too morally ambiguous, and felt like it would be disrespectful to the real Chiaki to replace her with an AI. Some people wanted Chiaki back desperately, though, namely Hajime and Nagito. They wanted her back no matter the cost, even if it wasn't the real Chiaki.

At first, Mikan had agreed it was disrespectful to the real Chiaki, but now... Well, she just wanted her friend back, too. It wasn't the same without her.

On the bright side, she tried to tell herself, at least there's no Monokuma. They were safe, Makoto and the others in the Future Foundation promised that. And they meant it this time. Mikan really did feel safe. After all, Junko really was gone.

Oh. Junko...

Junko was a terrible person, Mikan could acknowledge that much. She hated what Junko did to her friends, to the world, and what Junko made her do to her friends and the world. But somehow, she couldn't hate Junko. She just couldn't.

Somehow, she really did miss her, because Junko did love her. She truly believed that. Junko was an awful human being, set on despair, and set on destroying everything everyone had ever worked hard on, but... she knew, somehow, really deeply and truly knew, that Junko did actually love her. No love in the world could cure the trauma Junko put everyone through, put her through, but somehow knowing Junko did really love her helped her cope.

Mikan heard a knock on her door, and she jumped, almost yelping but managed to suppress that noise. She realized she had been sitting in her cottage for hours, laying on her bed, staring at the ceiling, just... thinking. Nothing in particular, just...

Oh, who was she kidding. She was thinking about Junko. As awful as she was, Mikan missed her.

She figured it was someone checking on her since she had kind of been holed up in her cottage for a while now, but when she heard a gentle, "Tsumiki-san, are you home?" she remembered she had requested an audience with Makoto.

"Ah! Naegi-san!" Mikan squeaked, hurrying out of bed and to the door, fixing herself along the way, making sure her skirt wasn't accidentally tucked into her panties or whatnot. "C-coming! Sorry!"

As she opened the door, Makoto gave her a soft smile. "Don't worry, Tsumiki-san. There was no rush. I was just checking to make sure you were home, since this is where everyone said you might be."

"I-I'm sorry! I must have made everyone worry!" Mikan whimpered out, about to bow apologetically to Makoto. However, he reached out a hand to stop her. Not touching, just a gentle hand outwards to keep her from bowing. He had been putting effort to get to know everyone well, before he even dared asked if he could touch anyone. After all, the lot of them surely carried quite a bit of trauma.

"It's okay... take a breath, okay? Nobody's mad. You have nothing to apologize for," Makoto assured calmly. "May I come in?"

Mikan nodded, still blushing and embarrassed for making anyone worry. She stepped aside, allowing Makoto in.

"Thank you," Makoto said with a smile. He also asked permission to sit, which Tsumiki granted. She sat on her bed, knees together and hands on her lap, while Makoto sat on a chair, facing Mikan. Normally, she'd feel intimidated, but Makoto's presence was... really comforting. "Was there something you needed to talk about? Or did you just need company?"

Mikan shook her head. "I... did have something to talk about. I wanted to ask..." She looked at Makoto for a moment, then stared down at her lap. "Do you think Junko-san really loved me?"

Makoto was taken aback by this question. "Enoshima... san...?" he asked, mostly to himself. He really wasn't sure how to answer the question, but Mikan was waiting...

He sighed. "Tsumiki-san... I'll be honest with you. I don't... I don't know. It's likely that Enoshima-san didn't... couldn't even love. After all, what she did to her own sister, who adored her..."

Makoto paused for a moment. No, that wasn't true. She may have been a monster, but there was definitely proof she could love.

"I... I take that back. Yes, I think she loved you very much, Tsumiki-san."

Mikan looked surprised. The way Makoto had started, she was ready to been told Junko didn't love her. "How do you know...?"

"Well, no, I don't know, not for a fact," Makoto told her. "But knowing Enoshima-san, and her hunger for despair... What greater despair can someone feel than knowing they singlehandedly drive away the girl they love and make her hate them?"

Mikan couldn't help it; she teared up a little. She started to sink into a state of self-resentment. She could have helped Junko. She should have.

Makoto frowned, sighing very gently through his nose. "Tsumiki-san... It's not your fault."

"I know," Mikan choked out, tears dripping directly from her eyes onto her now clenched knuckles. "But... I still hate myself. There was more I could have done...! I...!"

"My I touch your head?" Makoto asked. Mikan was the first person he had asked permission to touch so far. She nodded.

He got up and carefully put a hand on her head, patting gently. "It's okay, Tsumiki-san... nothing you could have done would change her. She was already set in her ways. She—"

"You don't know Junko-san!" Mikan cried out. "You don't know her like I do! Even Hajime-san, he doesn't know her like I do! He may understand, but he'll never know!"

Makoto took his hand back. "Tsumiki-san..."

"No!" Mikan insisted. "Junko-san was scared, Naegi-san! She was terrified of herself! She was terrified and she couldn't stop! In a world where you're so logical that nothing is fun...! In a life where you're so logical that human interaction is too dull and predictable...! When you're so intelligent learning is too easy and there's no joy in it...! Nothing ever felt like an accomplishment to her! Nothing ever felt enjoyable! If you lived like that, Naegi-san, can you completely honestly and truthfully, without a shadow of a doubt, tell me that you wouldn't go crazy?!"

Makoto hesitated, but shook his head. "No..."

"Junko-san was an awful person, I know this!" Mikan continued. "No amount of reasoning could ever justify what she has done! But I hate when everyone talks like they know her! Like they understand her like I do! They don't! They never will!"

Very slowly, Makoto sat back down. Hearing from someone who knew Junko on a deep level gave him a new perspective. He could still never forgive her, though he figured Mikan felt the same way despite loving her. He wondered if he had gotten the chance to talk to Mukuro about this, if she would have said the same. Something told him she would have.

"I'm sorry, Tsumiki-san... you're right. It was wrong of me to try to lecture you about someone you knew deeper than I did," Makoto apologized.

There was a long moment of silence before Mikan choked out, "I'm sorry for yelling..."

"It's okay," Makoto said. "I did something offensive. I understand."

Another long moment of silence.

"Tsumiki-san... do you still love Enoshima-san?" he asked.

Mikan nodded. "Yes... I don't think I can ever love anyone else... I tried. I tried to love Hajime-san and Chiaki-san and Ibuki-san like I loved Junko-san... but I couldn't do it."

Though this made Makoto a little sad, as Mikan really did deserve much better, it did work out perfectly for his plan. "Well... you know Enoshima-san better and more deeply than anyone who's alive right now. Can you compile a list of every thing you know about her? Every single thing, as much as you can remember."

Mikan looked at Makoto and wiped her eyes, realizing she had been crying again. "Why...?"

Makoto hesitated. This wasn't going to be popular with the other islanders, nor the Future Foundation, but...

"It won't be the same as the Enoshima-san you knew, I know this. Even Hinata-kun and Komaeda-kun know an AI of Nanami-san wouldn't be the same as the Nanami-san that they knew. But... if you can make that list for me by, say, next week... Perhaps Enoshima-san can join you on the island, as a classmate this time rather than an enemy. Minus the despair gluttony, of course."

Mikan lit up. "Really...!?"

Makoto nodded. "Yes, but... I need to warn you. If this AI starts to show even a slight sign of being dangerous, or too powerful, we need to delete her. But if you can accept those terms..."

Mikan thought for a moment. She knew her friends might be mad at her if she agreed, and Kyouko and Byakuya would be too. But... with the promise her friends would be safe...

"I agree to your terms, Naegi-san!"

Makoto smiled. "I'll stop by next week for that list then, alright?" he asked as he got up.

"Okay!" Mikan said, feeling lighter in her chest and shoulders than she had in a very long time. "Thank you!"

Makoto nodded, giving her a little wave before heading out, closing the door behind him.

Mikan felt butterflies in her tummy, excited and giddy, a little anxious, but so happy. The person she had been missing most... was returning to her!

She looked at her desk. The notes! She had to write the notes! She only had a week to get this done, and there was so much to write...

As she sat down, opening her notebook and grabbing a pen, she said softly to herself, "I'm going to save you this time, Junko-san. You won't have to be scared this time."

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! this was kind of a test write to see if i wanted to use this as a series idea and i do! this is a one-shot fic but there will be a series that is a direct continuation! i'll update this note when it's posted ♡


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